


All the things that I wished I had not said

by attaccabottoni



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Dante and Vergil encounter a Boggart, I was tempted to entitle this as Vergil’s Wallet Must Die, M/M, This is the most Riddikulus thing I have ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:07:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24213406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/attaccabottoni/pseuds/attaccabottoni
Summary: Dante and Vergil are on a hunt for a shapeshifting demon. It goes as well as expected.
Relationships: Dante/Vergil (Devil May Cry)
Kudos: 31





	All the things that I wished I had not said

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "You Could Be Happy" by Snow Patrol.

“Dante, let me handle this.”

“No way.”

“If the psychic demon borrows power by taking the shape of one’s deepest fear, I already know what my fears look like. I can better defend against them.”

“Come on, Vergil, this isn’t a competition. Besides, our weapons are useless against it.”

“They say the demon can be defeated through laughter—”

“Powered by a strong mind. And since it’s a shapeshifter, it’s better to have someone along to help. See, I know what I’m doing. And between you and me, let’s not make this harder than it could be.”

“As you wish. But only under protest, in the interests of a speedier end to this.”

“Don’t worry, Nero won’t ever hear about how fast you gave in.”

“If your greatest fear turns out to be the inability to talk, I wouldn’t be surprised, though how the demon would manage to shapeshift into that, I have no idea.”

“Okay, if it makes you happy, I’m shutting up, now.”

_[Your hand was just inches away.]_

“Dante?”

_[You were so close, it’s like you weren’t even trying.]_

“Dante, can you hear me?”

_[Did a part of you that secretly wanted him to suffer hold you back?]_

“Whatever you’re seeing, it’s not real.”

_[You could have saved him.]_

“The demon is drawing on your power. You need to stop it.”

_[What are you even good for?]_

“I’ll pay for as much pizzas and strawberry sundaes as you wish!”

“Hahaha! Seriously?”

“...It’s dead.”

“No, really, you said you were going to treat me?”

“I just said the most absurd thing I could think of to make you laugh.”

“But you weren’t joking about that, right?”

“We’re done here.”

“Unbelievable. That powerful happy memory you just gave me turns out to be based on a lie. How will I ever know from now on if you’re telling me the truth?”

“Fine, I suppose this is how you want to play it, then to compensate for being unfunny, I’ll have as much sex with you as you wish.”

“If you’re still joking, I’d rather be eaten by that demon.”

“That’s not funny, Dante!”

“As much sex as I want, huh? Does that include finally wearing the sexy bunny outfit I gave you?”

“Just don’t tell Nero.”

“If it makes you happy.”

“It does. And so do you.”


End file.
